If you suffer from constant exposure to harm in your relationships, whether family, emotional or even work relationships, then it is not just a matter of being surrounded by a group of “bad guys”, but there is a secret that resides in your personality, which makes you somehow more vulnerable to exposure to harmful relationships in all aspects Life.
If you face this crisis, or have gone through more than one situation that proves that you are an attractive person to abusive relationships, you should be alert, not blame yourself, and you must be prepared to take a step back.
In an article on the “Bustle” site, relationship expert Carleone Stepper talks about some of the signs that appear on the character that make them more attractive to bad people, and they are often not easy to bypass.
But Stepper says that the good news is that psychiatry professor Jean Reardon has indicated that being aware of the traits and tendencies that attract inappropriate characters is the first step on the path to resolution, and the therapist can enhance your self-confidence and help you form your clear personality and determine how you can recognize Through them on these offending characters.
But let’s first define for you the set of traits that you should look for in yourself, in order to avoid the effects of harm.
1- You are so kind
It is not wrong to be kind, but there is a difference between being kind and being available all the time. If you find yourself in this capacity, know that you are facing a problem. Relationship expert Tiffany Toombs says these people are the least able to say “no” and set relationship boundaries, and end up in a controlling or manipulative relationship by the other party.
To all the nice people of the world, don’t let anyone take advantage of you, it will be difficult at first, but getting used to saying “no” is the only way to do that.
2- You are loyal no matter what
In any relationship, both parties have to be trustworthy, but to be the only one who is loyal in the relationship, this in and of itself is very harmful to you. Anxiety therapist Eileen Purdy says if you are a person who easily owes loyalty to people, you have to be more careful, as this often exposes you to many harmful situations that will cost you a lot.
3- The owner of a reliable personality
If you are a dependent, then you are at risk of hugely abusive relationships because in reality you are drawn to characters who play the role of rescuers, and vice versa. Eileen says these characters are always looking for the misfits and the flaws.
4- Do not appreciate yourself
If a person has a depraved self-esteem, then this will certainly push him towards relationships that look at him with the same view, for he does not see that he deserves the best, and is satisfied with what he gets from the abusive relationships, whether this is done consciously or unconsciously, and for this he must build themselves and their selves far away About self-degradation.
5- Retreating around yourself
While a person can be selfish at times in a relationship, it is important to ensure that this trait does not wreak havoc on your relationships with others. And if your partner doesn’t see an advantage in putting you first in their life, then they may not have something real to offer you.
But it is easy to address this, by putting the other person in the second place of your priorities, so that the relationship will be more comfortable for you.
6- Focus on appearance
It is related to the momentary attraction, the first fleeting moment is definitely based on the outward appearance, shape and scales that are clearly known to everyone, but if you want a relationship that lasts forever, that will not be enough to make sure that the relationship is healthy.
7- A negative personality
Often negative people bear the mistakes of others, more than the firm person, who certainly rejects such a relationship altogether if he does not find comfort in it.
8- You rush without thinking
Impulsivity is sometimes required, but not all the time, and those whose actions precede their thoughts often fall into harmful relationships.
9- You have a problem with rejection
Negative people and those with an inferior view of themselves tend to control the relationship partner greatly, which leads him to try to escape from it, which is offset with violence from one party to another.
10- Much sympathetic
Neuropsychologist Dr.Ronda Freeman says that people with a high degree of empathy are usually emotional and sensitive, and have a long history of exploitative patterns throughout their lives, so awareness of personality types and how to recognize exploitative, narcissistic and manipulative personality traps is the most important way to heal from Sympathy.