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Australia bans birthdays, house parties, tanning, real estate auctions and barbecues…

Australia bans birthdays, house parties, tanning, real estate auctions and barbecues…

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18 comments

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  2. Pretty sure imma still have a birth*day* regardless. Just be me and my cat chillin…like last year.

  3. Imma cook my bbq on my front porch so everyone can smell it but no one can come over…

  4. So after not shutting down schools, saying that it’s for essential workers.

    “Everyone with a job is essential” – Scott Morrison.

    So fuck teachers, and everyone else that just got laid off.

  5. “Sorry Timmy, you won’t be having your fifth birthday. Six is also looking iffy… We’ll just skip to your seventh and let you deal with the emotional trauma, later.”

  6. Tanning? Go fucking outside while the Ozone hole is still overhead.

  7. But what if my birthday is tomorrow?

  8. Happy birthday to the ground!

  9. “That’s it, Australia! No birthday!”

  10. So it’s illegal to get older in Australia now?

  11. No shrimp on the barbie? God no.

  12. Guess I won’t throw another shrimp on the Barbie…

  13. Barbeques? Really? The authorities are going to patrol neighborhoods desperately looking for John Q. Cobber flipping burgers or shrimp on the barbie? Seems like a waste of police resources to me.

  14. Disallowed submissions

    * Editorialized titles
    * Misleading titles

  15. American cunts come after you for singing Happy Birthday anyway.

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