Many warn us about the consequences of anger, and its negative impact on health and social relations, but what we do not know is that anger is not a bad feeling to this degree, especially if we can manage it properly.
The writer, Isabella Bingocchia, says in her report published by the British newspaper “The Times”, that anger is just an emotion, and we often use it to make positive change, and we can use it to our advantage by following some of the best ways to manage it in the workplace and anywhere else. .
Learn emotional awareness
Sally Stubb, a professor of psychology at Texas Women’s University (TWU) and co-author of the book The Benefits of Anger: The Surprising Benefits of Anger and How It Can Change a Woman’s Life, stated that emotional awareness is an important first step.
Many people, especially women, are so used to suppressing anger that knowing when to feel it is not easy. Stubb advises that we acknowledge and understand the existence of this anger, and ask about its signs and how severe it is. Do we shout, stop talking, or cry? Does anger manifest in the form of sadness and frustration? What are the situations that make us angry? That way, we will learn to deal with these feelings better.
Indicate the cause of the anger
The writer quoted by Stubb that if someone is being disrespectful to you, then you have the right to draw their attention to the matter without feeling guilty, and you should also express what you need, and explain the problem clearly and precisely.
According to business professors Victoria Preschool and Eric Lewis Ullman, it is important for women to try to provide a concrete reason for their anger, which serves to undermine the abusive stereotypes that women are an extremely emotional being.
As you try to assert yourself during anger, ask for something specific while acknowledging something positive about the person you are speaking to. Explain that you understand their point of view even though you have another point of view.
Humor can also help you clarify your point of view while highlighting the situation. According to Joan Williams and Rachel Dempsey in What Works With Women in the Workplace, humor can help you maintain your cool in the face of things that seem annoying or unfair, and make someone aware that their “behavior is unacceptable without appearing heavy-handed.” .
Never make it personal
No general assumptions or accusations should be made about a person. In this regard, Mike Fisher, director of the British Anger Management Association and author of “Overcoming Anger: The 8 Point Plan for Dealing with Anger,” recommends avoiding phrases that will cause people to take a defensive stance and avoid listening to you.
Moreover, Stubb adds that compassion and being aware of the fact that others may be struggling with stress in their lives will help you manage your anger.
In case you are not able to express your anger, try to control it by breathing deeply and introducing oxygen into the bloodstream and you will immediately feel calm. Stubb explained that anger can be reduced by distraction, such as remembering times when you felt happy.
Sometimes, taking a time out may be the best option, as Fisher suggests waiting for 5 minutes during anger situations, and if you feel that the matter is no longer important, you should skip it, and he also adds that the most important of all is not to take things too seriously. Grandpa.
ask for help
Fisher stresses the importance of seeking support from others, since talking about the causes of your anger with friends or family members gives you another point of view, and confirms whether your actions are justified. But if you are used to experiencing discrimination in the workplace, Barrett advises women in particular to seek the help of a supportive male colleague who can draw attention to you and redirect the conversation to you.
Showing your anger, whether by attending a protest or communicating with people on social media or charities, can stimulate opportunities to take action. If you are angry at systemic or institutional injustices such as discrimination at work, Stubb suggests taking collective action that is likely to make a difference.
Do what you love
Direct your anger at something you love, such as art, music, dance, or anything else. In this context, Fisher says, “Our culture is about working, buying and moving, while anger management is about slowing down, so art is a great way to pause for a while.” Immersion in the present moment. ” These solutions will not be suitable for everyone, as every woman must choose the means that best suit her and express her anger.
The author concluded that what we can really do, whether we are men or women, is to review our prejudices, and to observe the way we interact when others express their feelings. Does it differ according to gender, race, or class? Instead of excluding people and contributing to the problem, try to be part of the solution, and perhaps that is just by asking the reason.