Every family brings together a set of values and rules that parents seek to instill in their children, and discipline is a way to achieve this, but not blame and beating, but rather encouragement and correction when necessary, to teach them to live within the family rules, but how can we do that if there is a child among us who has just started entering a world Adolescence, as he becomes rejecting and resisting everyone around him?
1- Leading by example
You must repeat what is and is not allowed without any contradiction in the message addressed to the teenager, you may ask your teenager not to use someone else’s property in the family without first obtaining his permission, or for everyone to participate in housework, but he does not see a model His privacy is respected.
These are the dual messages that will only serve to confuse and stubborn children when you ask him to commit and a sense of belonging to the family.
2- Consistency in the position
You must request what you want from the son calmly, and repeatedly until he does it, so you should not be disturbed by his laziness or his preoccupation, and also you should not forget or surrender if he continues to invoke other things, so the teenager knows that if the matter is important enough to his parents, they will ask him for it, so from The important thing is for the son to see your steadfastness in the situation, for he who truly wants something will strive for it.
3- Encouragement before criticism
If you want to correct a teenager’s behavior, it should be done without criticism, blame or reprimand, and focus only on the behavior that he followed and need to change it next time, to realize that the goal of his discipline and accountability process is not personal revenge.
4- Sincere guidance
When parents assume responsibility for disciplining a teenager, they are committed to providing continuous guidance, explaining the true causes of family values followed at home, guidance towards good behavior, inculcating values, and providing continuous feedback on how the adolescent manages his life directly in a balanced discussion, so that the teenager knows that anything is It is obligated by it for its own welfare and safety, it is taken very seriously.
5- Thanks and appreciation
Do not follow the son’s wrong behaviors only, but he must be thanked for what deserves appreciation. Some parents deal with their children as a moving mass of misbehavior and mistakes, and they are not tired of criticism, and the best is to emphasize that any mistakes or problems that occur in them are a small part of his long life, That can be managed in a very good way.
6- Listen to him
It is important for the teenager to reassure that if he commits a mistake, he will find someone who hears him until he finishes telling his story and its circumstances, and will not hear what harms him and insults his character or challenges the veracity of his story, even if his explanation of the circumstances of the event is not helpful or will not change your mind, so before starting to Criticizing his behavior, you should say, “Before we decide any penalty, we need to talk and hear what you have to say, and then you must hear everything I have as well. Then you have to wait and see what other consequences, if any,”.
7- Cooperate with him
When parents make contributions to a teen’s life, they also expect to make contributions in return. In this sense, the relationship between parents and the teenager is a contractual one in order to lead a happy and safe life. To achieve this, you must clarify that relationship to the son through his concrete awareness of the reasons for his belonging to a family system that follows a set of rules in which parents and children participated in exchange for what this system provides in terms of money, safety and love, and you continue to say and repeat phrases such as: “We work for you, and we hope that Help us do that in return. “
8- Empathy before punishment
Imagine if your son came home with his clothes cut off due to an accident that occurred to him while riding his friend’s motorcycle, despite your warning.
Despite the anxiety and fear that may affect parents in these situations, you should not confront your son with blame and punishment for violating the rules set in advance, and let the first response from you is sympathy by asking the son whether he is well, and reassuring about him, as he needs support and a sense of security before he is done Discipline him.