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How do we avoid a social pandemic that destroys marital immunity?

Someone wants to go to the bathroom and finds him busy and the meeting is about to start, she wakes up to drink a cup of coffee and finds them in the kitchen before her, and gets busy with them and forgets the coffee, he has an exam and his young brothers indulge in a football match and under his desk is the goal, Corona virus threatens life in general and family life in particular .

Under the embargo and the changing lifestyle of work and study to the home, the periods of family members’ presence with you increased and the challenges this posed.

I want a divorce

No wonder the search for “I want divorce” increased by 230% on the Internet, and the pressure on law firms and legal marriage officials increased in many countries that have implemented the ban for a long time, such as China and the United States, and the divorce rate has increased in some Arab countries. As Syria and Saudi Arabia, how can we avoid a social pandemic that destroys the marital immune system?

Families do not suddenly collapse

“Families do not suddenly collapse,” says Reem Anani, life skills trainer and founder of the Your Path to Happiness initiative, to provide information for life skills trainers.

She explained, “What happened is a frightening change in our lives without a background to what should be made. We have to respect those who need space, as each family member deals with his own affairs. So we have to explain to those around us what we are going through to support us.”

other reasons

Anani says, “Those who are financially affected by the epidemic need an emergency plan. Studies confirm that the more financial difficulties, the more psychological problems.”

She advises the family to “be frank and discuss the financial situation and whenever we focus on the solution and not on the problem, we will approach it. With the children, the policy of education, not intimidation, is taken into account.”

The change due to Corona has not only occurred to parents, but also to children to adapt to an unprecedented situation (Getty Images)

Sons .. to the house

Not only did the mother and the father change, but the children had to adapt to an unprecedented situation with distance education, which led to the return of thousands of students to the family home.

Omar Battisha, a third-year student in political science and economics at the University of Chicago, says, “University housing is designed for memorization, and everyone around you is there for the same reason, but at home, the challenge is to do your part towards those you care about while continuing to be productive.”

He adds, “In university housing you can live for yourself only, but at home you have responsibilities of taking care of younger brothers, washing dishes, taking out the garbage, it is life with everything in it, and studying is part of it. Unless there is an urgent project or duty, then tell those around me not to “Someone interrupts me. In the end, the support system in homes is better than anywhere else, even that designated for study, but it comes with responsibilities.”

Maryam Sarhan, a student in a special program for the tenth grade of high school, said, “The challenge is to concentrate with young children who want to play and jump with shouting, and it is possible for anyone to enter anywhere at any time.”

“Studying from a distance requires more effort and energy because dispersion and separation from the screen is easy, and had it not been for the deadlines for the delivery of assignments and projects, I would not have been forced to focus,” she added. “It helps me to follow a schedule and reward myself after walking and buying coffee from abroad, for example, because without a schedule it is easy to lose.

Out of the box

Ziad and Maryam are a married couple in their first life, and they are both a software engineer. Their work moved home following the Corona pandemic. The husband says, “Before the ban, it was the time for work in the company and the time for the family at home, but now it is possible for the two to mix together, especially since we were sharing an office room. Our apartment consists of two rooms, and a hall open to the dining room and the kitchen. “

He adds, “Since we have to maintain the confidentiality of the work on the one hand and on the work space for each of us on the other hand, we implemented a different idea, which is to move our bedroom to the dining room, so we do not expect guests during the ban, and thus each of us has a room for his own office, so I advise For a person to try solutions, even if they are not usual. “

Maryam: A wonderful marriage prefers the ordinary just as diamonds are distinguished from stone (Pixabay)

Stone and diamond

By meeting Maryam, she said, “The difference between a stone and a diamond is that diamonds are subjected to harsh conditions, and this is what differentiates between a normal marriage and a wonderful marriage. When the ban began, we discovered our behaviors at work hours. One of us finds clarity in his thoughts by sharing her immediately, and the other finds that only in focus, one of us He asks the question in a moment, lest he forget it, and the other gathers questions to ask them all at the same time, so we decided if I had a question that I should send in a message to Ziad, and I know that he will answer it at his leisure.

Regarding the reason for moving the bedroom, Mariam said, “When we were in the same office, sometimes we had a role to participate at the same time. His colleagues could hear what I share with my work team and my colleagues, or one of us goes to get a cup of water and the other loses focus from the movement.” They are accurate and unintended encroachments on the space of the other. “

She added, “We tried for one of us to go to the dining room to work from it, but it is open to the kitchen and the living room. It used to produce interruptions to working hours if the other party wanted to make a cup of tea or have lunch or follow the news at rest, small things but day after day that accumulate and affect them.” “.

Are you not afraid?

Maryam replies, “It is normal for us to be afraid of change, especially since we got rid of some pieces of furniture and moved others to organize the place, but the hope of avoiding what bother us tomorrow and negatively affects us made us take the step. We put barriers around the location of our new room until we feel that it is a room, and we are happy with this solution.” .

Anani Life Skills Trainer: Families do not suddenly collapse (Al-Jazeera)

Uncooperative

Anani says, “The complainant comes to me saying my husband does not support me, so I ask her: Do you want to continue with him?” She answers yes, and I say: Find a solution. We are working on this solution together. The other party should do his best. If a family member remained alone and saw others spending enjoyable times, he might have joined them, and if he wants space, let us give it to him. But do not rush to seek advice from those who do not know, and it will cost us the life of the family. “

Crisis and pass

Anani says, “Everyone is saying that the crisis will pass, but will a strong family leave us or will the weak building collapse? Corona is not necessarily the reason for the increase in divorce rates, but it is the shock that made many of us wake up.”

And she concludes, “We have lost many precious lives in this epidemic, so let us hold on to the neighborhoods and work on restoring families so that the disease ends and families continue coherent, and if (family members) face challenges, then they should search for solutions inside or outside the box.” Ziad also advises, “Try even the most unusual solutions if they are. It will bring happiness and comfort. “




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