Is the woman the enemy of the woman or her supporter? As soon as this question is asked, you will be stunned by the multitude of opinions of women who consider that most of the harm has been done by another woman.
Some women considered that gender (the two types of mankind: woman and man) have nothing to do with judging the matter, but rather it is due to each case in and of itself, whether it comes from a man or a woman.
Women spoke to Al-Jazeera Net about experiences of disappointment and experiences of support, with their views on enmity or women’s support for women.
Jealousy and competition
Joel Ghostine could not understand what happened to her at work, and how she was forced to stop because of the “fabrications” of a colleague.
She tells Al-Jazeera Net that she was doing her job, and it did not occur to her that one of them was on the lookout.
She adds that her colleague was “spiteful and showing the opposite to the point that Joel loved her and considered her her friend, but it was a reason for her to quit work.”
She also says: Perhaps the hostility or competition between women is due to education so that parents work to make their children better, and she tells that she has always been bullied by women because of her extra weight and the shape of her nose before the operation. But she did not experience this from the young men with whom she was better.
She broke off the engagement
Another woman, Amal, says that she suffered incredible harm from her brother’s wife. And as long as she stood up to her not to marry 4 times, she even caused her to annul her engagement once.
The woman was inciting her husband against his sister, and the husband was suffering from cancer, making the family always on his side at the expense of Amal. She says that when he divorced his wife she was relieved.
Despite this, (Amal) does not have any negative feelings and tolerates them, but she does not forget the offense that she caused her for years and does not understand the cause of the harm.
Amal never wanted to break her brother’s release because she had not given up on him for 10 years when he was ill and unable to conceive. “We all appreciated her position, but she continued to abuse me, and today I neither love her nor hate her, I just want her away from us,” she says.
Nobody harms a woman like a woman
Lamia says that she is sure of that according to her experience. No one harms a woman like a woman. “My experience was that a woman tried to harm me in multiple ways after noticing my development in my work, and the praise accompanies me as if it detracts from her.”
What I did was get away from her as much as possible because she tried to discredit her. Lamia concludes that the man hurts in love, not at work.
The woman is a powerful enemy
Samar Karim considers that the woman is a strong enemy of herself. Women around her have always tried to stand in the way of her success and study, but her mother was her support.
She explains to Al-Jazeera Net that it may be because some people do not have the ability or sufficient support, instead of working on themselves trying to break others by defaming a certain reputation or harm, to the point of not recognizing the female’s ability and considering that any success for her was an immoral issue.
No to male speech
Yafa al-Masry, for her part, believes that considering women the enemy of women is a patriarchal discourse, inciting women against each other, and making them understand that they are enemies in order to lose the feminist ties.
She wonders, “Why does the abuser isolate the woman from her friends? And why when a man betrays the blame on the other woman, for example?” She considers that the most important and sincere relationship is the relationship of “sisterhood” or sisters, and considers that her relationship with women is the most important and strongest bond for her.
Petra Al-Shami says that harm is not a quality related to a woman or to a man as a gender, and competition may be in working with men and be harmful, and that the person’s psyche, personality and upbringing play a role in the matter, not gender.
As for considering women the enemy of women, she considers her a “propaganda” (propaganda) planted in the minds of people and nothing more, and the focus is on “the most beautiful, the longest and the most part, and words of that nature.”
She points out that she was supported in her work by two women who are, according to her, “a role model, and without them I would not be who I am now.”
They deal differently
For her part, lawyer Samia Al-Mawli says that women are more severe in dealing with the girl of her gender, “so that we find judges and employees deal with women in a different way than if the judge or the employee is a man.”
She adds that she feels sorry for the existence of this model, but she considers that it is not the only one, as there are supportive women, for example, she sympathizes more with the woman’s client and provides her with support as much as she can.
The enmity is historical
In her interview with Al-Jazeera Net, psychologist Kawthar Itani says that if jealousy is logical, then it is an incentive for competition, success, identification and a positive outlook.
Itani does not agree with the generalization of the idea that women are jealous, as men are also jealous. The matter is related to education first, and how did the person live during the period of fraternal envy, and what was the family atmosphere, and was he comparable and frustrated? She says that this causes jealousy later in many forms.
She adds that there are theories that consider that women’s jealousy of women arose in the ancient stages, where there was competition for men. And that in the early stages of a woman’s entry into the labor market, her goal was to satisfy the man’s employer, so competition was with this goal, and the positive evaluation of him towards her gave her a large charge of appreciation, and thus envy, jealousy and enmity arise.
Changing women’s relationships
When women became in leadership positions, they became in the stage of self-realization, and the hostility diminished, and they became aware of the characteristics and skills of the woman working with her, this is what Itani explains.
She considers that some women do not have professional satisfaction, so she is compensated in a way that may not satisfy young women in the professions, as she feels the danger of the other woman and the fear of opportunities for others to reach and lose what they have earned.
The psychologist points out that sometimes women are supportive and adopt the young and support them, and the one at that time has achieved professional satisfaction and believes in the right of the new generation to access.
Get the opportunity
Itani returns and says that some women arrived thanks to their relationships and not their achievements, and this creates a sense of injustice among the able, prepared and empowered, but they did not get the opportunity.
In her opinion, there are no blatant animosities between women now unless some of them have a specific problem with their character.
She concludes that the competition between the female and the male has a clear professional dimension. As for the female, it is complex, and how does this woman see her femininity and how to achieve it, and how the man sees her.